Title: One Shot and My Lover Goes Down
Pairing/Characters: TJ/Jase (OMC)
Rating (Word Count): R (13x100)
Warning(s): None
Author's notes: This is set in the It's That Pivotal Moment verse after the sequel which is in the editing process right now. All you need to know is Adam and Sauli are together and Tommy is dating an Army Doctor. Thanks to wynkat1313 for the beta <333



One Shot and My Lover Goes Down


Jase tipped the flask back, the whiskey burning its way past his trembling lips and down his too tight throat. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he slid the flask into his back pocket, his hands shaking as he did.

"Jase? You out here?"

Jase didn't say anything hoping that he wouldn't find him, because right now Adam was the last person he wanted to see.

"Jase?"

Footsteps rounded the corner and there he was. Jase shrank from the sight of him.

"Fuck, Jase, are you okay?"

Fear and shame clawed at his throat, stealing his voice.

^v^

Frantically, he shook his head, screwing his eyes shut and trying to block out the images that kept appearing before them.

"Hey," Adam said soothingly, tentatively resting his hands on Jase's shoulders.

Jase stiffened under his touch but didn't move away. Adam rubbed his hands up and down Jase's arms. "He's gonna be okay."

Looking up at him sharply, Jase shook his head. But Adam's grip on his arms tightened. "Yes, he is. Doc just said so. You should come in, go see him."

Finally finding his voice, Jase shook his head again. "I can't," he whispered hoarsely.

"You can."

^v^

"He needs you," Adam admonished.

"I failed him," Jase whispered, putting voice to his shame.

"No. NO!" Adam shook him. "You didn't. You saved him. If it hadn't been for you, he would never have made it to the hospital alive."

"If it hadn't been for me, he never would have gotten hurt in the first place."

Adam's eyes flashed with anger. "That is bullshit and you damn well know it. Now fucking stop feeling sorry for yourself and get in there because Tommy needs you."

"I fucking got him shot! You should hate me, I almost got him killed!"

^v^

"Why? Because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time? Because Tommy, tiny little shit that he is, decided he was going to be the big damn hero?"

"Because I had it handled. The guy was backing down."

"Not from what I've been told. And obviously not, since he pulled the trigger and Tommy took the fucking bullet."

"I could've lost him," Jase said, voice shaking, his knees giving out, dragging Adam to the ground with him.

He wrapped his arms around Adam's neck, burying his face. "I could've lost him."

"I know," Adam whispered, rubbing Jase's back.

^v^

Tremors shook Jase's frame as he clutched at Adam's shirt, trying to hold back the hot tears that were threatening to spill. "What if I had?"

"You didn't," Adam said firmly. "And he needs you now. You need to get your ass in there, or I swear to fuck I'm gonna kick it."

Jase laughed, the lump in his throat shrinking just a bit.

"Okay, I'll have Sauli kick it for me and you know he could totally do it."

Laughing again, Jase wiped his eyes, pulling out of Adam's embrace. Adam continued holding him, searching his eyes for something.

^v^

"You okay now?"

Nodding silently, Jase stood up, pulling Adam with him. "Yeah, I'm good."

Shaking his head, Adam wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You're not, but I don't think any of us are right now. But we will be. Once he's better, we all will be. Come on, Tommy's waiting."

Jase let Adam lead him back into the hospital, where the sterile white walls and the antiseptic smell made him feel like retching. The trembling started up again and got worse the closer they got to Tommy's room. He started panicking but Adam's grip on his shoulders tightened.

^v^

"What if he hates me?" he whispered frantically just as they reached the door.

Adam sent him a withering yet sympathetic look. "He took a bullet for you because he loves you. Now stop being an idiot and get in there."

Jase felt Adam gently push him toward the door and, swallowing hard, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Jase," Tommy's weak voice sounded from the bed and Jase looked at him, at the happy smile that lit up his face.

"Tommy," he rasped out, stumbling over to the bed, collapsing into the chair beside it.

"You're here."

^v^

Tommy reached out for Jase and he scooted the chair closer. He grabbed Tommy's hand in his and bent over it, kissing each knuckle.

"I'm so sorry," Jase whispered over and over again.

"Stop," Tommy ordered weakly. "Stop that shit right now. This wasn't your fault. The asshole who shot me, it's his fault. Not yours. So stop fucking blaming yourself."

"I didn't protect you."

"I'm not some fucking damsel in distress," Tommy grumbled.

"But –"

"No buts," Tommy interrupted him. "We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's it. So stop feeling guilty. Please?"

"I can't."

^v^

"Then we have a problem."

Jase's heart clenched in his chest at the determined tone to Tommy's voice. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"I'm alive, okay? We survived some madman who tried to kill us. You've survived what- four tours in Afghanistan now? I've honestly lost count. I need you. And not you kicking yourself, I need you."

Getting up, Jase started pacing in frustration, feeling his cheeks heat in anger. He turned to Tommy, fists clenched. "What do you want me to say? You got shot because of me! You almost died because of me!"

Tommy flinched at Jase's outburst.

^v^

"How the fuck am I not supposed to feel guilty about that? Please tell me!"

"How do you know? How do you know it was because of you? It could have just as easily been because of me. There's a lot of crazy fans out there, it could have been any number of them."

"It wasn't," Jase said flatly.

Tommy frowned. "How do you know?"

"Because he said so."

"When?"

"After – after he shot you, I took him down, knocked him out, but not before I heard him muttering about fucking fags in the military."

"Oh. It was my fault."

^v^

"What?" Jase watched Tommy's face go pale.

"It was my fault. I insisted on going inside with you. I called you Major while we were in there, slapped you on the ass, hung all over you like a piece of fucking arm candy." Tommy's voice was quiet, small, ashamed.

"NO!" Jase turned on him, dropped back into the chair and grabbed Tommy's hand in his. "NO. It wasn't your fault. That guy was just an asshole bigot who –" He dropped his head forward, resting it on Tommy's hand. "I almost lost you," his voice broke. "Please don't leave me."

^v^

Tommy squeezed his hand. "Hey," he said softly. "Not going anywhere."

"You were what got me through this last tour. I don't know what I would do without you. When I saw you with that gun to your head," a shudder went through Jase and he looked up at Tommy. "Every second we've had together flashed through my head and it wasn't enough, not even close."

"All I could see was the fear in your eyes," Tommy whispered.

"I've been to Afghanistan four times and I've never been more fucking scared in my entire life, than seeing you like that."

^v^

"I'm sorry," Jase choked out, watching as a tear fell onto Tommy's hand.

"Me too. Can you just, um –"

Jase glanced up at Tommy, watched his cheeks color. "What do you want, babe?"

Stonily Tommy looked away and Jase could tell he was trying really hard to remain in control.

"Can you just –" Tommy started again, gesturing helplessly at the bed.

Instantly, Jase understood. "Sure babe, scoot over."

Tommy moved over as best he could and Jase climbed into the bed with him. Tommy cuddled into his chest and Jase wrapped an arm around him.

"I love you."


The End