They stared at each other.

“Why now Adam? Why?”

The words were just whispered, but they were screaming in Adam’s head. Making him just want to turn around and run away.

“I don’t know, Tommy, I…” He stammered and stopped.

Tommy got up and was now right in Adam’s face. 

“You can’t do that to me! I deserve better and more. I am not waiting for you anymore! I fucking moved on. “

Adam cupped Tommy’s cheek. Tommy’s breath hitched. He whispered. “I moved on…”

Adam whispered back. “Tell me to back off and I will. I’ll let you go.”

~ ♥ ~

Tommy pushed Adam away and hissed at him. “Fuck you!”

Adam sighed and put his hands into his hair. He was pulling at it until it was standing in all directions. Tommy just looked at him.

“Tommy, can we… just forget what just happened? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. Can we just… erase this?”

Tommy snorted and put his finger against his bruised lips. “I don’t think I can forget that kiss. I haven’t forgotten any of our kisses.”

They moved closer again. Arms started to close around each other, their foreheads touched. So close again.

~ ♥ ~

“Why is it always that complicated when it comes to us?”

Tommy’s question was more like a statement. There was always something between them, but there was always something that didn’t allow them to go the last step. Wrong timing, relationships, touring, recordings… Something was always off.

And then there was Sauli.

Adam closed his eyes and pulled Tommy closer. They were breathing each other in. Always so close, always too far away. 

When Adam opened his eyes again, Tommy was gazing into his eyes. Brown melting into blue. 

“I think it’s only as complicated as we let it be.”

~ ♥ ~

Tommy let a deep breath out.

“You make it sound that easy, but you know it isn’t, it never was.” 

Adam nodded. “Maybe we just overthought things too much?”

Tommy snorted at that.

“Ok, maybe I overthought things too much. I just don’t want to lose you, Tommy. I rather have you as a friend, than not at all.”

Tommy let his finger run along Adam’s neck.

“But what if this could be so much more? What if it could be easy and still good?”

“What about Sauli?”

Tommy smiled. “He loves us both; you should know that by now.”

~ ♥ ~

“And you are in love with him.”

Tommy nodded. “I am.” He let his finger run over Adam’s bottom lip. “But I never stopped loving you. Sauli is just a part of my love for you. You are a part of my love for him. I can’t separate that.”

“Tommy, this can’t work. We can’t be together with Sauli. It would be crazy to even consider it.”

Tommy rose up and pecked Adam. “But still, you want it, don’t you? I mean, the three of us, together?”

“Yes, yes, I want that. I’m just not sure how this could work.”

~ ♥ ~

“Stop thinking that much. Just tell me what you feel, what you want.” Tommy’s voice was hoarse now. Right above a whisper.

Adam closed his eyes and let his emotions overflow him. One wave after another want, lust, love and need were breaking over him. Could he dare to reach out and have it all?

When he opened his eyes and saw Tommy’s look mirroring his own emotions, he knew, the answer was “Yes”.

“We can’t decide that without Sauli, Tommy. He is a part of us.”

Tommy nodded. “I know. I’d be broken without him with us on this.

~ ♥ ~

Adam cupped Tommy’s cheeks and let his thumbs caress over his cheekbones. “Let me just have this moment with you. I always dreamed about holding you like this. Let me have this. Just for me, for us both.”

When Tommy nodded, Adam leaned down and closed his mouth over Tommy’s. He licked over his bottom lip, softly demanding access. Tommy parted his lips to embrace the kiss. Adam pulled Tommy into him, one hand on his face, the other on his neck. Always pulling closer, demanding more, offering more. With a soft moan Tommy kissed back, fingers in Adam’s hair.

~ ♥ ~

After a few minutes they pulled away, foreheads touching, soft smiles on their faces.

“We need to talk to Sauli. I want him to be part of this.”

Adam smile faded at this. “I hope he’ll be good with this. Things are good between us, but our break’s still on.”

Tommy cupped Adam’s cheek. “You two were just stupid, you know that and he knows it too. You will work it out. I will help you.” He forced Adam to look him in the eyes. “Adam, this is our chance to get really happy. I’m not letting you go again.”

~ ♥ ~

Adam nodded and pulled Tommy in a hug. Tommy rose to his toes and looked out of the window over Adam’s shoulder. His breath caught in his throat, when he spotted a blond man getting into a cab.

“No, Sauli!” Tommy cried out, letting go of Adam and stepping to the window. Though he knew, Sauli wouldn’t hear him, he pounded with his hand against the window. Tears started to fell from his eyes, when the cab pulled out.

Tommy put his hand over his mouth. “He can’t just leave.” Adam was now beside him, equally shocked with teary eyes.

~ ♥ ~

Sauli wiped tears from his cheeks. He leaned back in the seat and didn’t answer the phone that was ringing in his hand since several minutes. They called him over and over since he left. But he didn’t know what to say. Seeing them together showed him that he had to leave. They could be together now. He was willing to give them that chance.

He turned his phone off, not able to look at Tommy’s and Adam’s face when the calls came in. His heart was breaking, but he was happy for them.

They were better off without him.